Vital and alive
Do you know that sense of movement in the heart, of something sacred and tidal that might break down all defenses of the mind? Like a dam which can no longer hold the vast river finally breaks, the catharsis, finally free, without bound, flowing to the expanse of the unknown, charting new lands, flourishing new grounds.
The mind will continue to resist this freedom. Such is its nature. Nothing can help it. But again and again, the mind is not happy. One feels not happy, nor content, because through all this seeking of a result, of some permanent state of wealth or spirit, the seed of fear and anxiety is continuously cultivated, flowering into suffering, agony, mental breakdowns over and over again. One needs not the advice of a teacher or guru to understand that this isn’t working. If we are deeply earnest, if we listen to the songs of the heart, its worries and sorrows, its continued failures to acquire that thing called happiness, then we would know that something is fundamentally mistaken. We attach ourselves to some rock in a vastly flowing river of life, only to find out that eventually, through fatigue or accident, we will have to let go, and let live.
Such is man’s tragedy. Tasted the fruit of knowledge, the past now casts this gigantic shadow over the freedom of presence. When the now sings merrily along without knowing a thing, we decide, analyze, premeditate, based on how little or how much we know. Have you ever thought that maybe bliss needs nothing to be? It is here, this moment, totally within reach, constantly trying to break into our walled gardens, but it is us who rejects and resists, who keeps repairing our walls so we can insulate ourselves from it. Such is the helpless ignorance of the mind conditioned by knowledge.
The mind is strong. Its survival hinges on resisting true happiness. It wants stagnation and security, so freedom and the unknown is to be avoided at all costs. But the result is all the same. No matter how strong and secure a dam is, it will break, and the vast river of life will flow, carefree and immense, vital and alive.